Episode 97: How to Be a Coach and Mentor to Yourself

Welcome to Episode 97 of The Daily Interaction Show. Do you want to hire a coach or have a mentor but can’t afford it or can’t seem to find the right one? Today I answer Silvia’s question and show you how to be a coach and mentor to yourself.

From Silvia, a listener request:

What can a person who is in a stage of life where there are no mentors available do?
We all know the importance of a mentor (or mentors) in one’s life, but there are times when a person might be flying solo (work wise), in strange waters and with not many people who would serve as mentors around. Like living abroad, in a place where you don’t speak the language, the society is very different from your own culture and you work by yourself, not in a company with a formal structure.

I would think about hiring a coach, but say there are financial impediments at the moment. Listening to podcasts and reading is one way I found. What else would you suggest? How can you take the best out of the means you have? What are these means?

Thank you Silvia for asking the question. There IS a lot you can do without hiring a coach.

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I admit I have been very resistant in hiring coaches for myself. I had several mentors at work but investing in myself was not a concept I truly embraced but then I decided to put my money where my mouth is last year and I’ve now spent several thousand dollars in my business and my own improvement.

Results? I can say the skepticism has fallen and I’ve seen the progress that I can make with a one on one coach. So I’m starting the answer with sharing personal experience and letting you know that it’s okay to have resistance, doubts to hiring coaches. Sometimes the resistance is purely financial but sometimes it’s emotional too. And you need to respect it.

But to your question, when you are not in a position to work 1:1 with a coach, what do you do? Let’s dive into the conversations to have with yourself.

Remove the bad influencers immediately:

First, let’s take stock of what is the current input into your system, before we modify it.

Who are your current influencers?
Who do you hang out with?
What programs do you listen to?
What material – reading, listening, watching – do you consume?

As you think about these people, ask yourself questions:

Are they negatively affecting your enthusiasm for work?
Are they giving you bad or good advice?
Do they have your fulfillment and happiness and best interest at heart?

Sometimes, even the people closest to you may not be your best advisors. Click to Tweet.

So after you have pruned the current influencers in your life, take stock of where you are. And take a deep breath. Look around and ask “What do I need now?”

Check out In-person events and meet-ups in your area

Start small but find a group of people in your local area that you can connect with. Start small and look at all the options available to you. Start with some of the free ones.

If you are interested in starting a side hustle or changing jobs or advancing your career, there are groups/ meet-ups that happen in every place now. Look them up and attend a local event, and when you go there, introduce yourself at least to 3 people. Have a conversation. and give the meeting/event a chance.

Secret meet-ups not announced, you have to know someone – so hang out with people you want to get to know in your town…..

You also need to be conscious of everything that influences you – so the books you read, the podcasts or audio that you listen to …. and also it has to be in line with where you are going so if you don’t know where you are going in your career, then you are in exploration phase so inspirational stuff motivational stuff is helpful such as Tony Robbins,

If something makes you feel bad or small or insignificant STOP watching, listening & consuming it! Click to Tweet this.

So line up these audios, put them on your audio device, and listen to them. Watch the videos. Take notes or just watch.

Join a Mastermind Group

Another thing you can do is fine a small group of people to mastermind with. This takes a little thinking and planning and selection process is key. You need a very small group that keeps you motivated – this one pays off the most.

The right mastermind group can help you leapfrog from where you are to where you want to be, but don’t be shy about how you go about this mastermind, and if at first, you don’t pick the right people, learn how to part ways professionally and find the right people next.

What do you think about hiring a coach?

The real question you have to ask yourself is what do you want to accomplish from working with a coach? And how can you start moving in that direction so you begin to make it happen for yourself? The right coach with the right approach can help you make amazing progress but you can also be a great mentor and coach to yourself using some of these ideas.

So what do YOU think about hiring a coach? Have you ever done it and if so, how did it turn out? How about being your own coach and mentor? Share your thoughts in the comment below.

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This podcast is part of Prolific Living Media and it is produced weekly and released every Friday. For questions and comments, please email the podcast: tdi@prolificliving.com.