Follow Your Heart – Being Truthful to Yourself and Others

Always follow your heart, making the choices that serve you well first and foremost!

I plan the blog post topics ahead of time. After all, planning is one of the keys to repeated success. It turns out there is just one problem with that. When you write from the heart and when the way you feel about the subject at hand changes mid-course, you need a new plan and you need one fast!

This post was going to be about what I anticipated would be the unforgettable yoga workshops by Anusara master John Friend. I was certain there would be a sea of new lessons to impart on yoga and on life. I even expected this knowing that these workshops were going to be different from the type of yoga I generally enjoy and practice; I wanted to appreciate differences nonetheless. After all, John Friend is a world-class revered yoga teacher. When I took two of his classes at the Omega Institute, I recall being impressed by his knowledge about body alignment and his teaching on how to find comfort and challenge in any pose.

That was 7 years ago and either memory serves me poorly or else his yoga workshops last weekend were geared toward an entirely different purpose, one that I sadly was neither able to comprehend nor fully appreciate. I was sorely disappointed.

What to do when circumstances fall short on meeting your expectations in life? In some irony, I am taking John Friend’s own advice from the lectures in transforming the energy of that frustration and disappointment into an energy of innovation. I am turning that disappointment into writing about the importance of being true to your own heart and making choices in life that serve you well first and foremost.

Anusara yoga has a strong following where I live. Over the years, I have tiptoed into it many times; I would learn about body alignment here and there but the pace was always too slow for me and the mid-class lectures would disrupt the flow of my yoga energy. The truth is that I am simply not in love with Anusara the way I am in love with Baron Baptiste power yoga and Ashtanga yoga. And for me, indifference or casual affection in life just won’t do; you must be in love with something to give it your all. You must feel it beat to the rhythm of your heart, whatever it may be. Then and only then do you know it belongs with you.

After this weekend, my hesitation on saying no to Anusara is over and my exploration of this type of yoga has reached its end. Ten hours of lectures and teachings later, I have given it more than a fair try and will now be able to close the door.

In the process, I have realized the greatest – and simplest – lesson of all, following my own heart. A thought process, a mental exploration and a reaching of clarity. It seems that lessons did materialize from my experience after all. May they resonate with you as they did with me:

Let the Heart Choose Between Originality or Popularity

There are those who never follow the crowd and those who always follow the crowd. I think the most useful guideline is to not follow the crowd just for the sake of popularity and to not stray from it just for the sake of being different. Do things because they beat to the rhythm of your own heart, be it the most popular thing or the least. Be original if you must even if your heart’s desire is obscure to the masses. For me, originality stomps popularity if and only if it is what my heart desires. The combinations of all the choices which are your heart’s truest desires will most likely make you an original person anyway because we are all unique. So choose carefully and choose well and always follow your heart.

Hesitation of your Mind is a Sign

Listening to your heart and understanding of the self takes conscious effort. Sometimes, you may only hear a faint voice or you may only get weak signals. You must be in tune with your inner self and listen carefully. Are you really excited about the things you are doing or do you sense a hesitation that you can’t quite explain? There is a good place for curiosity; it is the element that pushes us to explore in life. Curiosity then gives way to passion when you stumble upon the right thing. You will be jumping up and down with joy and feeling anticipation and excitement every time you pursue that new passion. If you hesitate, time and again, before you do something, you must be doing it for less than ideal reasons.

Knowing the difference between Respect and Love

To respect something is not the same as to love it. You can certainly feel both on many occasions but remember to distinguish between them when they are mutually exclusive (one or the other but not both!). You can respect what your friends’ are pursuing even if you have no interest in those pursuits for you. You can respect what others highly recommend for you to do, knowing full well that you cannot love those pursuits either. Showing respect to all things while choosing only the things which you love, that is the way to follow your heart and to be true to both yourself and others.

Learning how to Say No without Hurting Feelings

Have you struggled with saying no in your life like I have? It is easy to say no with excuses and it is easy to say yes without being truthful to yourself and others but to just say no, an honest heart-felt no, without hurting others’ feelings, without showing disrespect, now that requires guts and a few well-thought-out phrases.

In the process, try to avoid taking shortcuts. These tactics in the long term do not serve you or others well when faced with awkward requests:

Apologizing for who you are or what you want
Making up excuses rather than saying no
Delaying an Answer
Ignoring a Response altogether

Instead, be firm and truthful with kindness. These phrases below have served me well in saying no without guilt in many of life’s awkward moments:

When a close friend asks you get involved in a cause or a charity or volunteer effort outside your interests and passions:
“I am so happy for you that you are engaging in these activities and pursuing your interests. I will not be able to join you with the same passion but I am here to fully support you and cheer you on.”

When an opportunity arises through your well-established connections and you want to turn it down:
“I am so flattered and honored for this opportunity; I’m afraid it is not a good match for my skills and what I am able to offer but I wish you the best in finding the ideal candidate for the job.”

When a friend asks you to join them on an activity which does not interest you:
“I hope you have a fantastic time and thank you for asking me to go along. I will be opting out of this one. Unfortunately it does not align with my passions and interests.”

When a parent or a spouse or a partner asks you to pursue something with them and you really don’t want to hurt feelings:
“My darling, I am so very happy that you have found your passions and you know you have all of my support and devotion to your success. I wish I had the same passion in this as I do in {these other things} but I want to hear all about your adventures.”

What a fantastic relief it is to be true to your own heart, to make a decision and take a stand on an issue and do it all by opening your ears and listening carefully to yourself. What others wish for you to achieve is nice and flattering but you have one life to live and one lifetime in which to do it all and you should always be the path of your own making.

Share your thoughts:

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear your perspective on your success or struggles in following your heart, being truthful to yourself while being kind and respectful to others.